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- My wife lied about having an affair; My wife lied about having an affair. I recently discovered that my wife had a 4-week affair. The man she was with is 22 years older than her, has a wife and family, and is a co-worker of hers and still remains so even after. He has apparently had several affairs.
'I decided to come home early from work. I called my girl multiple times and no answer. A few texts and again no answer. I got kind of worried something happened to her, so I sped home. I called right before arriving and again no answer. I walked in the front door and I heard my nightmares coming from the master bedroom. My cheating ex-wife will be the one who misses out! Build an exit plan for when my kids finish school. And if things haven’t changed, I plan to leave, if she hasn’t left me already. For my peace of mind, I’m trying to turn something gut-wrenchingly negative in something positive. An unfaithful partner hurts, but it won’t kill you.
But this wife didn’t give a monkey’s when her hubbie asked her if she was cheating on him. The woman’s first message seems pleasant enough, as she begs her partner: “Plz come back”. Home Ten People Disclose How They Caught Cheating Partners The most unpleasant thing anyone in a committed relationship can face is the feeling your partner is unfaithful. You expect person is devoted to you entirely and doesn’t feel something may be wrong between you two. One phone call later to his wife, my ex gets sacked, the boss is divorced, and the company breaks up (it was husband/wife own and operated).' 'I caught my husband cheating about a year ago. 'I decided to come home early from work. I called my girl multiple times and no.
We’ve heard it from friends and loved ones: a loving wife, who has done everything ‘perfectly’ cannot understand why her husband has cheated. She feels she has done ‘everything’ right, considered her husband’s needs and placed them even before herself. Perhaps she gave up her career opportunities in order to support him and to care for the family. And truly, it IS hard to imagine why a husband would cheat on the perfect wife. This perfect wife may possess admirable characteristics that many in her life admire - including you. So why then do husbands cheat on the perfect wife?
Psychologists offer many answers to this question, some of which may surprise you. Here are just a few reasons why husbands may be unfaithful to a devoted spouse (hint: they have very little - if nothing- to do with the betrayed partner).
Lack of Maturity
Lack of Maturity
The lack of prior relationship experience or the ability to understand consequences may lead some men (and women) to be unfaithful to their spouse. It is estimated that nearly 68 percent of men feel guilty after they’ve had an affair - maybe this stems from the inability to understand how hurtful a betrayal may be?
It’s important for a wife to understand that if her spouse strays due to a lack of maturity, it is his issue - not hers. When a man justifies cheating on his wife, it’s his own selfishness - and not the wife’s problems- allowing his conscience to make those decisions. Think of it like this: if a husband is not mature enough to realize how harmful his affair will be, than it’s unlikely he’s mature enough to appreciate a ‘perfect’ spouse in the first place.
Addiction / Self-Control Issues
Addiction / Self-Control Issues
Your partner’s underlying addiction and self-control issues could be the reason he cheated. Drugs, alcohol, and sex addictions are just some of the diseases that can ravage a relationship. Addicts will often struggle to make healthy decisions, sometimes even choosing to hurt those that love them in order to justify their isolation and continued self-harm.
There are many things the spouse of an addict should consider, such as if you are engaged in a co-dependent relationship that allows the addict to maintain their quality of life instead of getting help. You may have thought that you were helping your husband, even being a good wife, by assisting them in covering up their addiction. As tempting as it may be to provide this kind of assistance, it is usually not helpful in the long road to recovery.
Insecurity
Insecurity
In his article ‘Why Happy People Cheat’, marriage therapist Aaron Anderson advises that insecurity in one spouse leads to the need to have a bit of secrecy in the relationship, a behavior that can ultimately lead to infidelity. “In counseling, most spouses who cheat get to the point where they identify some sort of displeasure with themselves as the reason they cheated...Instead of embracing these insecurities and trying to fix them, they try to hide it,” says Anderson. He encourages couples to establish open and clear lines of communication, even about uncomfortable topics, to try and work through a spouse’s unfulfilled desires. This may be allow you to prevent cheating from entering your relationship, or even to help you understand why your partner was unfaithful after the fact.
If you think that insecurity is what drove your partner to have an affair, don’t automatically feel that your entire life has been false. Anderson claims that “It's a common misconception that spouses cheat because they're unhappy in their marriage. In fact, most of the time when couples sit on my couch, the person who had the affair says that they still love their spouse.” As hard as it may be to accept, personal unfulfillment is a root cause of some affairs, no matter how much a couple loves each other.
Anger or to Get Revenge
Anger or to Get Revenge
Sometimes, men cheat to get ‘even’ with their wife or to resolve some deep seated injustice they feel they’ve been served by their spouse. In these instances, they truly want their actions to be felt by their significant other, choosing behavior that is intentionally hurtful. While it’s natural for couples to have disagreements and problems that arise over time, some couples fall into unhealthy patterns of fighting. This can damage both spouses, but it isn’t exactly an excuse to cheat (is there really one?).
The hurtful act of infidelity, especially when the husband has tried to maximize the pain of the cheating on his wife, may be especially hard to heal. Family therapy and/or couples counseling may allow each spouse to talk to a neutral, listening, and supportive person. This can help heal a marriage. However, if the spouse who has betrayed you will not accept counseling and other corrective measures, and the idea of divorce is being tossed around, a visit with a family law attorney may be helpful. A divorce lawyer will consult with you and offer advice, and perhaps even allow you to think if ending your marriage is really what you want to do.
They’re Unhappy in the Relationship
They’re Unhappy in the Relationship
The thing is, even if your spouse has been unfaithful, it isn’t because they think there’s anything “wrong” with you. You may be perfect, but that doesn’t always guarantee happiness. Sometimes men will cheat on their wives to end their relationship, perhaps because they feel guilty being unhappy with someone who is a pretty wonderful person.
Unfortunately, some men may feel infidelity is the only way to end a relationship. “As a therapist, I find most of the reasons that cheating men use to justify their infidelity fascinating — because almost all of these reasons imply that cheating was the only logical solution to their relationship issues and other life problems,” says therapist Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S. Weiss goes on to refute that cheating is actually a logical choice, offering up many other ways that a man can communicate his feelings “[without] minimizing, rationalizing, and justifying” their behavior.
No matter why your husband cheated, infidelity is a hurtful experience. It doesn’t always signify the end of a marriage, but it is a chance for a wife question if her quest for perfection betrayed her own best interests. Self-care, exploring new and old hobbies, and seeking fellowship with good friends are some ways that a woman can reclaim some of her identify outside of being the ‘perfect’ wife.
The most unpleasant thing anyone in a committed relationship can face is the feeling your partner is unfaithful. You expect person is devoted to you entirely and doesn’t feel something may be wrong between you two. But the affair comes up.
Newest technologies cover different ways of communication and allow to conceal the truth from your partner. On the other hand, technologies make it possible to discover the affair.
Check ten stories of the people whose partners were caught cheating. The names of the users who shared the stories are hidden from the privacy reasons.
Cheating Wife Caught: How Men Revealed The Affair
I caught her taking nude photos. Twice
How I caught wife cheating? It wasn’t like I suspected something, but my wife acted weird. She was on her phone all the time, probably texting with someone. I always gave her space and the right to decide who to chat with. But then I caught her taking nude photos in the bathroom.
She immediately explained she intended to send these photos to me. I didn’t believe such an explanation. Of course, I didn’t receive any images. But when I came home earlier the other day, I caught her taking photos of herself in the underwear again.
She told me about the man, she was exchanging nude photos with on Tinder. I never thought about how I would act when my wife occurs to be an unfaithful one. I moved out and decided to spend some time not seeing my wife. We live separately, but we aren’t divorced. I still have feelings for my wife, but I think, I won’t be able to trust her again.
I found her location on the “mSpy” app
We had a lot of fights, and I started suspecting infidelity. She didn’t answer my texts that day, and I opened Find My Friends app on my iPhone to find out where was she. She appeared to be at the restaurant located in the fancy area of the city. So, I drove there to meet her.
I already pictured that situation in my mind – she and her co-worker sitting at the restaurant and kissing. That’s exactly what I saw when approached the place. I knew there was something between them!
Two years later I can tell this story without feeling jealous or sad. I am happy that I caught my wife cheating and ended my relationship with her. Those who hurt you don’t deserve your forgiveness.
Girlfriend caught cheating online
The first time that I suspected something was when I noticed my girlfriend started actively chatting with someone over e-mail. When I asked, she told that she had been communicating with her school teacher whom she hadn’t seen for fifteen years then.
Sometimes I heard my girlfriend sitting at her computer and giggling. So, I decided to check her e-mail to dispel the doubts. I found no messages neither sent nor received. But the drafts folder contained like 30 messages, so I opened it.
Imagine my astonishment when it became clear to me that my girlfriend hid an affair in the drafts folder. They left messages used, so there were no traces of infidelity. We broke up the next day, but she texted me a couple of times asking me to grab a coffee together. I refused. I don’t feel like she’s the part of my life anymore since I caught her cheating.
How I caught my girlfriend cheating!
That day was a disaster!
The weather was rainy, and my girlfriend stayed at home because she didn’t feel well. I ran to work, but once I stepped into office, I understood I forgot my phone charger at her place.
I tried to catch a taxi
But due to the weather conditions, there were no free cars. After twenty minutes of waiting, I managed to find a car and reach my girlfriend’s place. I ran into apartment shouting ‘Honey, how are you? I forgot my charger…’ but the house was in silence.
So, I went to her bedroom
To see whether she was ok and saw her with another woman. What did I do next? I took a photo of them naked in the bed and sent it to her mother. I also plan to share it on social media, so our friends know what a whore she is!
I checked her credit card spending
I wanted to surprise my wife with tickets to a concert. We both loved that band, and I needed to check whether she hadn’t bought the tickets earlier. So, I took her credit card and logged on to her online banking to check her spending – if she bought the tickets to the concert, the bill would be displayed in the list.
What I found were not the tickets. There were several bills for hotel suit booking. I counted four cases when my wife booked a hotel suite online. Why would a person need to book a hotel suite if she had a beautiful two bedrooms apartment? She had someone else. But actually, I have pity for her. The man she chose didn’t even have enough money to pay for the room himself.
Boyfriends Caught Cheating: Women Share Stories
I accidentally read his Facebook messages
I stayed at my boyfriend’s place that night, although I had to come to work early the next day. We watched films and chatted all night, so not surprisingly we overslept. I woke up at 8 am, and it was 30 minutes before the meeting at work had to start! I rushed into the bathroom, picked up my phone, said goodbye and ran out of the house.
It was about midday when I got a chance to check my Facebook conversations. I opened the messenger and saw a message from my friend from dance class. She wrote: ‘How about a date tomorrow evening, honey?I’ll wear smth sexy?’. I thought she mistook me for some man. They I suddenly realized it was my boyfriend’s Facebook account. And it was his phone!!!
No words can describe how furious was I back then. I throw away all his things! I’m lucky I caught him cheating before It started to get serious. Check their Facebook messages, girls, we deserve to know the truth!
I found another girlfriend’s number in his contacts list
I sometimes checked my boyfriend’s contacts list. I didn’t like the idea of testing his chats or private messages. But I wanted to make sure he didn’t call his female friends often. And then I came across contact named “That girl from the bar.” I copied the number on my mobile phone and called that girl.
As it occurred, he went out with this girl two times already, and she didn’t know about me. The bastard intended to date two girls at a time! We decided to take revenge on the guy, and I can assure you, he didn’t get away with it easily!
My friend caught him cheating on me with another woman
Two years ago, my boyfriend cheated on me with an engaged woman. He was at a three-day getaway, which turned into a bachelor party for one of his friends. And he slept with some women he met in the bar. I found this out from our friend who was there and caught my boyfriend cheating.
I broke up with him the next day. I posted about ‘boyfriend caught cheating’ story on my Facebook wall and tagged him and that woman. There were lots of comments from her friends and relatives, who were shocked with such behavior of an engaged woman. Now I understand I did wrong when tagged that woman, but I felt broken and wanted them to feel the same.
I found nudes on his phone
caught my boyfriend chatting with another girl and took his phone to check who was that. When I opened the chat, I found out they exchanged nudes and flirty texts. I told my boyfriend what I saw and asked him out of my apartment.
I am now seeing another man, who seems very nice. And we agreed to install monitoring apps on each other phones, to be sure of each other’s location and safety. Of course, he checks my chats once in a while, and I do the same, but I don’t mind it as I have no secrets to hide.
I caught him cheating with his colleague
I dated the guy next door. I stumbled across him every day on my way to work, and one day he asked me on a date. It all started as casual dating, but we went exclusively after two weeks.
We spent every weekday together, hanging out in his or my apartment. But that Saturday I decided to visit my mom. The weather was terrific, and my flight was delayed, so I got back to my flat.
I needed to save that day and forgot about the disappointment I had at the airport. So I opened the bottle of wine, prepared some snacks and decided and knocked on the door of my boyfriend’s apartment.
He opened the door with a shock on his face. And then I saw her. His colleague, from another department. I turned to my flat, despite his shouting “honey, ’ll explain everything to you.”
I didn’t make any drama, but I threw away all his stuff he left at my place. I only regret not having checked his phone for any evidence of the affair.
What To Do When You Discover A Partner’s Affair?
Infidelity is indeed a disgusting thing a person in a relationship can experience. People cheat on their partners for many reasons. They may seek emotional support and understanding elsewhere, but not in their relationship. Although that doesn’t make them irresponsible for their unfaithfulness.
Facing the thought of your beloved one concealing the affair may be destructive and depressing. Here some advice on how to recover from the affair and live a happy life.
Spend Some Quality Time Alone
If you were the one cheated on, you’d probably feel like breaking things and throwing their stuff away. It’s okay to feel that way. Actually, you need to feel angry and furious to let go of negative thoughts and emotions.
It can be good for you to spend some time alone paying utmost attention to your feelings. Take some time to gather your thoughts in the calm environment. Don’t start watching soapy films and regretting your decisions. Just make yourself comfortable where you are and start enjoying being on your own, instead of being angry with the person who isn’t a part of your life anymore.
Find Answers
For some people, healing from the affair involves analyzing the situation and finding answers to question ‘why did that happen?’. You can learn a lot by asking your partner for the reasons of infidelity and discovering what was wrong in your relationship.
It’s not easy to find out the truth. But sometimes it helps you to find balance in your next relationship and avoid making the same mistakes.
Get Tested For STDs
STDs are not the type of diseases, which are transmitted intentionally. Sometimes, people may not know they are infected. But such infections may bring severe problems like infertility, blindness or cancer.
If you caught your partner cheating on you, the first thing you should do is to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Even if your partner/ex-partner claims they are not infected, you can’t be 100% sure of the person they slept with.
Prevent Overanalyzing
When one partner is caught cheating, the other person in the relationship starts overanalyzing and reconsidering the situation over and over. It is easy to make up another storyline and imagine things, which didn’t happen.
Also, prevent looking for details of the affair on social media. You can’t take back what’s already happened. Don’t check their account many times just to find the nasty details. You won’t find anything interesting, but only feel more depressed and sad.
Avoid Hasty Decisions
Finding out about partner’s affair makes the person act not the wisest way. You start thinking about different ways how to make them feel your pain.
Some people think if they cheat on the unfaithful partner, they will show their indifference to the ruined relationship. But such hasty decision won’t bring you inner satisfaction. You may feel more miserable than before.
Occupy yourself with engaging activity to stop thinking about revenge. Read a book or start watching an interesting TV series. See your friends and spend some fun time together. New activities and hobbies will displace negative obsessive thoughts with positive ones.
See A Therapist
Some people find it difficult to start a new life after they caught a partner cheating. Seeing a therapist may be the right decision then. It is helpful to explain your feelings to an unbiased person, who can take a fresh look at the situation.
A professional therapist will help you adopt a new attitude to the affair that took place. You can also visit the therapist with your partner/ex-partner if both of you want to understand each other’s feelings and decisions better.
Think About Forgiveness
Even if firstly you consider forgiveness impossible, don’t reject this idea. Forgiveness doesn’t imply that you should stay in a relationship with your unfaithful partner. Instead, letting go of the things will help you forget about what happened and fully recover from the affair.
Forgiveness allows you to leave your negative feelings aside and move on with your life. You may not see those who hurt you and tell them you forgive them, but deep inside you should try to compose yourself, forgive the other person and open your heart to new exciting experiences.
Will Revenge Make You Feel Better?
Revenge is one of the primary things would come to your mind if you caught a spouse cheating on you. Almost everyone believes that the person gets what they deserve. And then when something happened to us, we often ask ourselves “why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong?”.
Maybe the karma strikes back. Though, often people establish justice themselves and plan revenge as a way to make someone experience what they did. They want the betrayers to suffer.
At some point in life, everyone can get hurt. And it is okay to feel the urge to take revenge. But it’s better not to retaliate by doing what is painful for another person. Instead, you can make efforts to work on your feelings and fix what needs to be fixed.
Game Where Cop Comes Home To Cheating Wife Wants
If you keep dreaming about revenge, you should remember that the best type of revenge is the proof you cope well with your life. You can live well without being obsessed with thoughts of revenge. You shouldn’t show the other person that their actions trigger your defense mechanisms. Living your own life and facing difficult situations with strength will be the perfect form of “hurting” the person who wished bad juju on you.
The story of Sienna Miller and Jude Law relationship proves the revenge doesn’t work when the affair takes place. Almost everyone heard about Jude Law’s affair with his kids’ nanny. Jude confessed and apologized for the incident, but that didn’t make his wife forget about what happened. Sienna was then seen with Daniel Craig a couple of times, and the reporters claimed it was her move to make Jude jealous.
Nobody can say for sure was it the revenge affair Sienna Miller planned or not. But what’s distinct about that story that the couple didn’t manage to survive infidelity. If it were the revenge affair, it wouldn’t seem to make Jude suffer much.
Revenge won’t bring you satisfaction or pleasure. If you determine to move on and get over the affair, you will need to find peace and calmness and abandon the thought of retaliation.
Think of what happened as a valuable experience, which can help you avoid the mistakes in the future.
How To Prevent Affair From Happening?
The person who is in a committed relationship with someone they genuinely love won’t ever consider the affair. There is no sense of walking away from good things. Maybe someone who cheated wasn’t that happy in the relationship? And maybe they wanted to be caught cheating?
Sometimes both partners are responsible for the infidelity of one of them. Specific behavior may ruin even the happiest relationship and push one of the partners to search for understanding and support from other people.
But when there is a balance in a relationship, both of partners will feel affection and love. What can you do to maintain a healthy relationship with your beloved one?
Practice honesty
Honesty is an essential condition for building a healthy and happy relationship. By frankly telling your partner what bothers you, you both can work on it to strengthen your bond. If interactions with other people, is what bothers you, you can freely ask your partner to read their texts.
Sometimes
Mobile tools like mSpy, help couples to be more open with each other by granting access to chats on social media other activity made on the phone. If your partner doesn’t mind installing such software on their device, it is proof they have nothing to hide from you.
Game Where Cop Comes Home To Cheating Wife Caught
Show affection
Both emotional and physical affection is important for partners. Love is often manifested through simple gestures of affection: offering a sweater when she’s cold or drawing a bath for him when he’s exhausted can prove your partner your feelings towards them are sincere and genuine.
While love is more of a feeling, affection is a commitment. Expressing affection to your significant one and receiving it with gratefulness, you will build trust and respect in your relationship.